Shattered
by CharxJay
Summary: It's amazing how much ONE thing can change our lives. And how our lives can unfolded with a single incident. The snowball, it started with something small but grew into this major, booming things effecting everyone.
1. Chapter 1

**This Fanfic will contain mentions of Self Harm, sexual encounters. Drug use will be used in this story. Nothing should be to graphic but this is a warning for you about to read this story.**

* * *

Farkle climbed into the passenger's side of Lucas' car, a smile plastered on his face as he did up his seatbelt turning to look at the older in the driver's seat already. There was a shoe in the brunette's hand and he held it out to the other who took it and put it on his foot. Cory has yet again run Lucas out of Riley's room but the things is they're twenty one – everyone except for Lucas who was twenty two. The group found it funny how he still did it and they played along with it, like it was a tradition that they couldn't let go off. Farkle had brought the older his shoe that was pulled of his foot as he had fled out of the window and down the fire escape. The blond started up the car before driving off with both of his shoes now on. The ride was a little quiet, but they enjoyed it. It was Farkle who broke it as he turned down the radio even quieter then it already was.

"You know, one of these days I am going to slip up and say; can you please stop chasing my boyfriend out of your daughter's window. You know this right." He commented as he looked at his boyfriend in the driver's seat. They weren't secretive about their relationship, it's just Mr Matthews doesn't know that they're together. He's never asked, so they've never really said. It was that kind of one, where if asked about it they'll tell you otherwise it won't be brought up.

It was Topanga who was the first to ask about it; it was a two months after they had decided to date each other. In sophomore year if we are to be exact here. The pair had been at their usual hangout, Topanga's having their usual orders and she had come by to see how things we going in the business when she had spotted the two together. Of course she's seen them together all the time, but this time she had noticed something different between the two. That the glances that they took at each other weren't full of nervousness anymore, but of ease and happiness and of course it didn't take her long to figure out exactly what had gone on. She had sat down with the boys, and asked them bluntly of which they replied with no hassle having both decided that they would be open about it if asked.

"I know. You know what would be funny, is if he already knows and he's just pretending he doesn't. That he's _waiting_ for one of us to say that." Lucas replied with a grin upon his lips. "Because it wouldn't surprise me if he was."

Farkle nodded in agreement, and the conversation went silent. It was a comforting silence as the older drove them back to their apartment so that Lucas could get ready for his shift at Topanaga's. All of them had gotten part time jobs; Lucas decided to work in the café, Farkle tutored high school and middle school kids. Maya is at the art supply store around the corner from the college that they attend, Zay went for the pet store. Riley part times at Demolition and Smackle is interning. The drive was nice, that was until everything sent the brunette into a panic.

It had happened all so fast, it was like a scene from a movie folding before their eyes but it wasn't as quick as a montage. The crash seemed to take forever to finish as the car skidded off to the side as the other stilled in its spot. Glass had flown everywhere and he had hit head hard against the dashboard and there was a sharp pain forming in his left leg as it rested in a funny angle. It took him a few moments to register what had happened, and a few more to realize that his _boyfriend_ who was driving. Panic started to settle in him; he frantically undid his seat belt and tried to look over to the blond in the driver's seat. He couldn't see any movement, and the other's breathing was very low.

"No. Wake up, come on. Wake up Lucas!" Farkle panicked as he shook the older's shoulder, trying to get him to wake up or at least give him some kind of response but nothing seemed to come from him. Tears started to fill his eyes as he grabbed his phone and dialed 911 as quick as he could. He couldn't lose him, no he couldn't.


	2. Chapter 2

It was hard for Farkle to walk with these crutches that he was given; they wouldn't let him see Lucas. Not that they could, they were still working on him by the time the doctors had finished with Farkle. He only came up with a few cuts and bruises plus a broken leg and a concussion, but other than that he was waved off to go, he didn't want to go home so he sat in the waiting room until he would hear anything about Lucas' condition. The brunette was growing impatient as each second went by, and as each second passed he grew more worried. His leg started to bounce upon the floor, biting his lip he decided to do something he doesn't really do, or know how to do but he knows Lucas does. Putting his hands together he bowed his head lightly as he closed his eyes. For the first time he was going to pray.

Sucking in a deep breath he started to speak under his breath, "I have never really done this kind of thing before. It's not my thing to do, I don't even know if you will actually hear me. Lucas says you can, so here I am. I'm talking to you, praying to you. He is very badly injured, I don't know how badly but I know it has to be pretty bad if he isn't available to be seen yet. I want him to make it through; I know I won't be the only one. His friends and family do too, they'll be here any minute. Can you please make sure he makes it through this, he's a good guy and I love him, please? He doesn't deserve to have his life cut short, not when he's saved mine. No one like that should be getting this, I know this is a big thing to ask but it's all I care about right now, him making it through this. How do you even end one of these? Because that is all I wanted to ask or talk to you about so…goodbye I guess."

Lifting his head and sure enough, he see's Mrs Friar walking in and not far behind her is the rest of his friends. He waved his hand and called out to them, not bothering to stand up not when he knows they'll just tell him to sit back down when they see his injuries. They worry too much about him; at least that is how he thinks. As they came over, a weak smile was plastered upon his face and he rested head against Maya's shoulder as she sat next to him. Riley sat on the other side of him, while Mrs Friar and Zay stood in front of them.

"Smackle is swamped with both her work and school work. But she sends her regards." Riley spoke as she gave the male a comforting squeeze of his knee. He knew how her work was, and how much school work she has so he understands.

"It just…happened so quickly. One minute we were just sitting in the car and then the next we were skidding across the road. I don't know a thing about the other driver; we had the right of way. That much I know and that they hit Lucas' side." He was trying his best not to let out the tears that had formed in his eyes, but of course he couldn't stop them. He was about to speak again when a doctor came up to them. The group watched as the doctor walked towards them, a clipboard in his hands, a slight smile upon the doctor's face was shown.

"We have done all that we could, he has survived and should. We will be keeping here for a week under observation in that period of time. After that, he should be able to leave he would just need to make visits back here for checkups. Right now he is resting, but you can go see him. He is in room 213." The doctor spoke before leaving the group of friends.

Maya had waited until Farkle lifted his head off of her shoulder before she stood up and held out his crutches for him to walk. They all walked in silence towards the room, the only sounds coming from them were the click of heels to the vinyl floor and the clunk of the crutches. When they got to the room, they frowned; it was small and wouldn't hold them all. Farkle said he's waited and let everyone else go in first. He didn't want to leave the hospital in the first place, so he would wait.

"No, Farkle, you tell him we were here. Just call as soon as he wakes up. He knows we would have been here, and we will come back." Maya said with a smile to her friend before she looked in through the window to see the older in the hospital bed, her smile now seemed forced as she looked at her broken friend. "We love you. Mrs Friar, we will see you later."

Mrs Friar nodded her head and smiled at her son's friends. Riley went and gave her a hug, and gave a awkward one to Farkle before she left with Maya. Zay left after giving his friend a pat on the back and Mrs Friar a tilt of his head. Mrs Friar walked in first, tears forming in her eyes automatically as she went and sat at his side. Farkle did the same, sitting on his other side grabbing hold of his hand into his. He pressed a kiss to his boyfriend's hand and rested his head upon the bed. He was about to speak when he felt very tired all of a sudden. He couldn't fight the sleep, so he let it take him. As he drifted off, Mrs Friar got a call and answered it.

"Yes he's been in an accident. Come see your son…"A deep sigh. "You know that. He doesn't. What will he think when his _father_ doesn't even attempt to see him…You need to stop throwing that at me. You _knew_ he wasn't yours when you married me. But you swore you'd be his father…Why does it matter now that he's twenty two?...Just come see him we'll…." And that is when sleep had fully taken over the twenty one year old, and he's sure he shouldn't have heard anything that was in that conversation.


	3. Chapter 3

Farkle woke up to a nudge in his side, he mumbled a bit as he pushed himself up from the position he was in. Opening his eyes, he looked around to see who it was and a blurry set of blonde hair was standing beside him. He rubbed his eyes a little, trying to fix his vision but it didn't work. Great, he let out a small huff before he felt the woman place something onto his face and she became clear. It was Maya.

"I have just been talking to your father, and he seems very angry. I think he wants to sue whoever hit you guys when they find the person. The cops said he flew the scene on foot." Maya said as she took a seat on the end of the bed. There was a little frown upon her lips as she did.

"Maya, what are you doing here?" Farkle questioned as he adjusted his glasses so that they felt right on his face. It's not like he didn't like her company, he just thought that she had work and school work to do.

She gave a light shrug. "I don't want to go home, you guys aren't there. It's lonely there without my boys." She spoke with a light laugh.

Farkle gave a light nod of his head. He and Maya had a little conversation before Maya went to go get them something to eat. She was gone for a few seconds when Farkle noticed someone familiar walk past, and being curious he got out of his chair and went to the door and called them over. His head tilting to the side as they both had a confused expression upon their faces.

"What happened to you?" The older male asked as he looked over the twenty one year old before his eyes noticed the other in the bed. "What happened?"

"A car decided to run a red light. Lucas got most of the hit, but he'll survive." Farkle replied with a tiny shrug before taking a step back and allowing the other to walk in. Then he wondered why _he_ was here so he asked as he made his way back to his seat. "What are you doing here?"

"I got a call from someone from my past, telling me they wanted me to come here. I do not know why they wanted me to come to the hospital though." The male said as he looked down at his phone, waiting for something on it to pop up. Sighing as a few seconds went by and nothing. "She said there was something I needed to see in room 213."

"213?" The brunette questioned blue eyes a little wide. "This." He said pointing downwards before gesturing to the room around them. "This is room 213."

"Then I must of heard wrong. I swear she told me room 213, she said it was important." He spoke before going to walk out of the room when Mrs Friar walked in. That was when he stopped and took a step back. "It's been a long time Wendy. Why did you call me after all these years?"

"Shawn, that's Lucas' mother." Farkle spoke up, then things started to click into his head and his eyes widened once again. He clamped his hand over his mouth as he looked up to Mrs Friar who stayed where she was near the door.

"I think we should talk about this in private first before I let my son know." She spoke, her hand gesturing to walk out the door but she didn't get the chance to leave the room.

"Know what? What don't I know?" Lucas' voice spoke from his bed. It was a little groggy, but everyone's attention turned to the twenty two year old in the bed. He tried to move but he winced as he tried to move so he stopped. "Mama, what does he need to know before me?"

Mrs Friar went silent and Farkle took this as a queue to leave the room, so he picked up his crutches and left, declaring that he was going to go see where Maya was with the food. Leaving the other's to whatever drama was about to go down in there. He found Maya easily in the waiting room, her head in her hands. Farkle walked over to her and put an arm around her and she leaned into the touch. "I think Lucas is about to hear some shocking news. Want to know what it is?" He asked.

"What is more shocking then being in a car accident?" Maya asked as she turned her head a little too look at her friend. What could possibly be more shocking then that?

"Well for one thing, finding out that his father is not who he thinks it is. And two, adding onto that; that the father is one of his friend's step dad's." Farkle wasn't stupid, hearing what his mother said as he fell asleep and to what happened before he left the room. It was easy to piece together if you had the pieces of the puzzle and they did seem to fit.

"Shawn? No, he isn't a father. He would have raised Lucas if he was the father. The only reason he wouldn't have, is if he didn't know." The blonde spoke, taking in a deep breath and letting it out.

"That's the other twist. He seemed like he didn't even know either."

"We are a weird bunch aren't we? Because didn't he date your mother once?"

"Yeah, I've heard that story. It's pretty funny actually at some parts. So how about we actually go get some food before going back to Lucas' room. Hopefully by then, things would be talked out. We wouldn't want to get in the middle of that." Farkle suggested and Maya nodded her head.

"Yeah. I'm straving."


	4. Chapter 4

Farkle and Maya had decided to go get something from one of the nearest take away places, knowing that the food within the hospital wouldn't be the best to have. They walked with little conversation, on their way back Maya carried the food. She was better set to sneak it into the place then Farkle was. On their way to Lucas' room Maya stopped in her tracks, making him stop as well. He tilted his head a little at his friend's sudden action.

"Maya? Are you okay?" He questioned as he watched her for her reaction.

She bit her lip a little before taking in a deep breath and letting it out. "I am…" She couldn't get out the words as she closed her eyes tightly. Like she was trying to stop herself from crying in the halls of the hospital.

"What Maya? Whatever it is, you know we'll stand by you."

Taking in another deep breath and letting it out before she spoke. "Even if I was pregnant?"

A huge smile spread across Farkle's lips but it quickly faded when he realised that his friend wasn't too sure on how to feel about the subject. If he could, he would hug her and comfort her. "Of course we would. Does Josh know?"

"Yeah, I told him before he went on his trip to Philly. I'm scared Farkle. What if he doesn't come back from Philly? All because I am knocked up? My child would grow up fatherless…like me. I wouldn't want that." Maya spoke; her voice was really showing her fear of what was going on.

"He will be back, if he doesn't I'm sure Riley would go off at him for it and drag him back with the help of her parents. And us of course."

"She…I haven't told her yet. Please don't tell her, I…I don't think I am ready to tell her that." She admitted, and she felt a little guilty about it. Not telling her best friend about something like this, especially because it is with her Uncle.

"Okay, I won't tell her. I promise you. Let's go see what is happening in room 213." He spoke with a grin, and Maya nodded and they headed back to the room. As they neared the room, Shawn exited the room with Mrs Friar right on his trail. The pair paused for a little while before walking into the room, Maya placing the food on the foot of Lucas' bed giving him a smile as Farkle took a seat in one of the seats near the bed.

"You know I really just want some _good_ news." Lucas spoke with a huff as he looked at his friend and boyfriend in the room. He was just…he didn't really think that was the kind of news he should have to wake up to hearing. That the father he had in his life was _not_ actually his father, at least not biologically. "What food did you get?"

"We got some burgers and fries. Here." Maya said as she handed the boys their food before she took a seat at the end of the bed. She unwrapped her burger and was about to take a bite out of it when she made a gagging face and placed the food down. "One of you guys can have that." She murmured as grabbed her fries and started to eat those.

Lucas tilted his head from his position in the hospital, of which someone has clearly helped him to sit up so that he could see the others better. It was most likely his mother that did it. "Maya? Are you okay?" He questioned before taking a bit out of his burger, his eyes watching as Farkle handed his fries over to the blonde female.

"Um, the smell of meat just makes me feel sick sometimes…" She spoke before turning to look at him; she put on a huge smile. "Want some good news? I got some for ya, I am pregnant."

Green eyes widened and a smile spread across his lips. He couldn't believe the words out of his friend's lips. "Wow. Congratulations. That is some good news, are you keeping it?"

The blonde gave a nod of her head; even if Josh didn't come back she would still keep the child. That was just not something she could do. "I am and I know it'll grow up with loving people around it."

"We will support you to our best extend. Know that, and remember that. You need anything, just ask us." Lucas spoke, Farkle nodding in agreement as he took a bite of his burger.

"I know I can count on you."


	5. Chapter 5

"Josh is in the car, I'll be the one helping you in as hopalong next to you is unable to do so himself." Maya said as she pointed towards Farkle who just shook his head at the name. The blonde has long since left the nicknames behind, but she couldn't resist the urge to call the genius the one of many nicknames she use to call Lucas. Especially when it fitted so well.

"Have I told you I love you Maya?" Farkle mused with a small laugh and shake of his head and he waited for her to help Lucas off of the bed, following after the other two. Maya had helped Lucas get ready to leave while Farkle had an appointment about his leg. They got in the car and Josh drove off, Maya and him were having a conversation about their situation, while Lucas and Farkle sat in the back. The brunette rested gently against the older, intertwining their fingers together as he hummed lightly under his breath. The drive was taking longer than it should have and Farkle was about to ask where they were going when suddenly the car came to a sudden stop. Farkle's heart started to race a million miles as he started to panic as the car crash replayed in before his eyes. He felt his hand being given a light squeeze, and the feeling of panic started to fade as Lucas rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb.

"You haven't told Riley yet!?" Josh exclaimed, turning his head to look at his girlfriend. It was like there seemed to be a mix of emotions in swirling around in his eyes. "I thought you would have told her, I had thought you have told her before you did _me._ "

"I am sorry, I just…How exactly would I have brought that up Josh? Oh hey Riley, guess what, I'm pregnant and you get a cousin out of it." Maya retorted, her blue eyes avoiding looking at him because that wasn't the whole truth. She was scared that if she told Riley and that if Josh had left her that Riley would do something. Sure, she maybe kind hearted but she could be tough when it counted and when it came down to Maya. Everyone knew this; they would fight to the end of the world for each other.

Josh let out a small sigh before driving off again. "Well, you may want to tell her _very_ soon as I am driving to Cory's because I want to talk to him…about this." He said as he looked out the front window, he needed his big brother to talk too. The rest of the drive was silent as everyone in the car didn't know what to say. Reaching the Matthews apartment complex, the four got out of the car and made their way up to the room. They were welcomed in with smiles, Maya had spotted Riley and asked if they could speak and of course the brunette nodded and the two left to her old bedroom – the one that the girl sleeps in from time to time when she stays at her parents. Farkle and Lucas went to sit on the couch in the living room next to Auggie and striking up a conversation with the teenager while Josh went up to his big brother.

Everything was calm when two voices could be heard in loud voices. "You're pregnant?!" "You got Maya pregnant?!" It was really an example of; Like Father, Like Daughter case. Seconds later Riley comes running out of the room with Maya hot on her tail. Maya didn't know what was going on with her friend as she walked up to Josh. There was a slight glare in her brown eyes as she looked at her Uncle. "Don't leave her, ever Uncle Josh." She spoke in a tone before a huge smile spread across her face before she hugged him and taking hold of her best friend and pulling her into the hug.

"Do your mother and Shawn know?" Topanga asked as she held a cup of coffee in her hand as she looked between the couple after her daughter let them go.

"I think Shawn has a lot on his plate right now… I don't want to add to that by telling him I'm going to be having a kid." Maya replied as she took a seat next to Josh, taking his hand into hers.

"Especially when he just found out he has one." Lucas spoke with a little harshness to his tone. It sounded as though he was angry with _him_ but he wasn't. He didn't know, he is more pissed at his mother from keeping it from him for this long and only telling him _after_ he had an accident.

Everyone looked taken aback by his words, with the exception of Maya and Farkle. "Shawn doesn't have a kid, at least not that he made." Cory said giving a quick look at Maya; he knew his best friend thought of her as a daughter, long before he married the girl's mother.

"Oh, but he does. And you've meet this child of his." Now everyone was really confused as to what the blond male was talking about. He gave a roll of his eyes before lifting his hand a little and giving a little wave. "Hi. Apparently, I am biologically his."

That was when the whole room went silent, and it was silent for a long while before Lucas spoke up, asking if they can just go home and that he just wants to get some rest at home. Maya and Josh nodded and everyone said their goodbyes before they departed on their ways.


	6. Chapter 6

A scream filled the dark room, not even seconds later a light was switched on and Maya walked her way to the couch where her friend had fallen asleep on the couch earlier. She knelt in front of him and gave his shoulder a squeeze.

"It's okay. Lucas is okay, you are okay." She spoke in a soft voice, the past week she has gotten use to this. He would fall asleep upon the couch only to wake up screaming and she's come to comfort him. She can only imagine what the nightmares were; she had an idea of what they were. "Come on, let's put you into bed. Next to Lucas."

He nodded his head and mumbled a small thank you to her; he hated those nightmares that plagued his head. It was like he had no control over them, the crash would just play over and over with no stop button. His crutches had been moved so Maya helped him walk to the bedroom, she left to her and Josh's bedroom with a quiet goodnight. Moving himself to rest next to Lucas he cuddled into the older's side as he pulled the blanket over himself. He just wants the nightmares to stop, but the last time he had nightmares what he did to stop them; he can't do that anymore. He's promised himself not to do that, he's promised his friends. He left out a soft sigh as he felt Lucas' arm wrap around him, he loved when the older did that.

"I'm sorry." The Texan's voice spoke in a soft, quiet voice. His hand moving soothingly up and down his boyfriend's arm that laid carefully across his torso. The words had taken the younger by surprise, what did he have to be sorry for? There wasn't anything that he could think of. He turned his head a little to look at the other next to him, and right when he was about to speak he was stopped when the other spoke. "I don't think my attitude was right at the Matthews and it affected the way I was back here. And I'm sorry that I didn't come to check on you, I tried to but I moved to quickly and the pain had just worn off enough for me to move again when you walked in."

"It's okay, I know you would have. I love you." He replied and leaned up to give kiss to his cheek, a light smile upon his lips. The older nodded and then the pair drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Going back to school was a little hard, but Lucas managed it with the help of his friends. And over the last six weeks, Riley has been over a lot more then she use to. Sure, her friends lived here and so did her cousin but there was some riff between her and Farkle which seemed to stop her from coming around the apartment all the time. Maya and Josh tended to go to her most of the time, but now it was nearly every day they would have the girl around not that they minded.

None of the group really knows _why_ there is a riff between the two friends all they know is that it started after she found out he broke it off with Smackle in their freshman year of high school. That was when everyone noticed the two friends starting to drift apart. It doesn't help that neither Farkle nor Riley would tell anyone what had happened. Sure they've tried to figure it out but, each time the rift got bigger.

That night everyone was at the apartment as music blared, and the group sang along to the music. Farkle was allowed to put pressure upon his leg now and was jumping a bit as he and Maya sang along to the song _I Refuse_ by _Simple Plan_. It was great entertainment for the big group of friends who sat in the apartment relaxing from a stressing week of school. They partied until they call crashed out in the living room. Things were on the track to being normal now.


	7. Chapter 7

The rest of the weekend just rolled around, Lucas had an appointment with his doctor and went to that while Maya and Farkle went baby shopping. They mainly went for things that were needed for the baby, though that was mostly because the sex of the baby is unknown. Maya doesn't want to know the gender of the baby, and would most likely just get a bunch of both sections anyway. Maya and Farkle went to lunch with Josh as Lucas said Shawn wanted to talk with him. Soon the day rolled into the night and Lucas wasn't home yet, Farkle lay awake in their bed waiting for the other to walk through the door. He was trying not to let fear seep into his mind. Farkle was about to reach for his phone to call the other when he walked through the door, flopping down next to him. He winced a little, forgetting about the healing injuries. They only hurt now with a sudden impact; like falling down on the bed.

"Lucas…Are you okay? It's nearly eleven. You said you'd be home by ten. How was it with Shawn?" Farkle questioned as he watched as his boyfriend changed into a set of pyjamas before lying next to him once again. The younger cuddled into his side, pressing a kiss to the bare chest.

"It was good; he said he wanted to do it often. To get to know me better, like in a son way I guess not a friend of my step daughter way." A small laugh left his lips; it was a pretty weird situation if we are to be honest. He wrapped his arm around the other, pulling him closer and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "I didn't mean to make you worry, I guess I lost track of time. Classes tomorrow."

Farkle gave a small nod, yeah it was time to sleep he knew that, so he closed his eyes and started to drift off into a dreamless sleep. He woke up to an empty bed, but he could hear the shower running and guessed that was where Lucas was. He dressed for the day and grabbed his books before heading into the kitchen to grab something to eat for breakfast as he waited for everyone else to come out. It was a small while before Josh came out and sat next to him and soon the shower could no longer be heard. Movement, and a few seconds later a dripping Maya walked into the kitchen with a towel wrapped around her body.

"Oh my god Maya. Clothes." Farkle spoke with false shock filling his voice, as he covered his eyes. He felt something thrown his way and looked at his lap to see a piece of broken chocolate in his lap and both parties laughed. Then a few things clicked into his head, where was Lucas? "Wait; was that you in the shower?"

"No shit Sherlock." She replied with a roll of her eyes.

"I thought Lucas was in there, he wasn't there when I woke up."

"Maybe he decided to get to collage early?" Josh suggested as he took a spoonful of his cereal as Maya gave a kiss to his cheek before leaving the kitchen to go get changed with an apple in her hand.

The young brunette let out a small huff and put his bowl in the sink before heading out the door. That was very unusual of him to do, and if he did he left some kind of note or text to let him know what was going on. The walk to the grounds was a bore without his boyfriend by his side; they always went to school together because they finished classes at different times. He went through the day a little bothered by the fact that he hasn't heard a word back. What was going on with him today? He was in his law class, but was finding it hard to concentrate to when the professor called out to him he jumped a little. "Sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked you were Mr. Friar is?"

"I'm sorry, I do not know." He spoke with a sigh and tapped it against the book open in front of him. He really did wish he knew. After school he would go look for the older but he had plans with Riley to plan a baby shower for Maya. That was the only times when they seemed to be civil to each other was when it concerned the blonde. His mind now drifted off to how this dent in their relationship; the one he has with Riley started.

 _"_ _How could you not tell me?" The tall brunette asked as she cornered the genius in the hallway of the school. There was a frown upon her features, and she didn't frown often if she could help it._

 _Furrowing his eyebrows he gave a tilt of his head. "What do you mean?" He questioned as he tried to think of what it was that he hasn't told the other._

 _"_ _That you broke up with Smackle. Why would you do that?" She pouted as she shifted the books in her hand. They had been so cute together, and he wanted to find love why did he stop? Those were the thoughts that run threw her head. That, and why was she the last to know of this news._

 _"_ _Because that is_ our _business, not yours." He replied with a light shrug of his shoulders. Sure_ he _was the one who broke it off between the pair but she had agreed with him that they didn't think it was going to go anywhere more than a middle/high school romance._

 _At hearing that, Riley let out a small huff and walked away from her friend and headed towards their classroom. That was just the starting thing, it seemed because nearly a year or so later she made him sit in the bay window because she needed to talk to him. He now regrets doing so because as soon as he had entered the window he was pelted with pillows._

 _"_ _What the -?" Farkle exclaimed as he pushed the pillows onto the floor and sat on the soft cushion of the bay window. His blue eyes wondering over his friend to figure out what was wrong, she did ask him here right?_

 _"_ _Do I even matter to you?"_

 _"_ _What? Of course you do, why would you think otherwise?" He retorted back._

 _"_ _I am last to find out again! Why did you tell Maya you liked Lucas and not me!"_

 _He raised an eyebrow, was this really what this was about? Him not telling her that he liked their friend. And that he went to Maya about it? He just went to her because he needed a harsh truth speaker and he knew he would get that from her and not Riley. "Why do you care about that little detail? So I asked Maya for some advice not you, big deal. You aren't the only one who can dish out advice." Okay, so that came off a little harsher then he had intended to do so but there was no taking it back. "And plus, I asked her that advice like, months ago. And me and him are going out."_

 _"_ _What! Since when!"_

 _"_ _Since like a week after I talked to Maya. And like…last month your mother knew about us. Thought you would have too."_

 _"_ _Out!"_

 _"_ _Why?"_

 _"_ _Out!"_

 _He let out a small huff and rolled his eyes before climbing out of the window and heading down the fire escape._

It had started from something so trivial, he's tried too hard to fix it but its hard when you don't know what is the true problem here. He thinks that there is something underneath why this happened but he can't seem to reach the bottom without an explosion.


	8. Chapter 8

Farkle was waiting outside of Riley's classroom, his headphones in his ears as he watched as the class filled out of the room. People grouped off or went to either find their other friends or to work. Riley was the last to leave and that kind of made him very irritated at that, why did she have to do that? But he was going to keep his mouth shut because they're doing something for Maya. When she came out, she poked his side causing him to raise an eyebrow at her before shaking it off and turning his music off as they headed towards the car park. Riley was driving; she had said she'd had the perfect place to talk this over. He was hoping that it was Topanga's and not her apartment or the Matthews. It's just after their falling out he never felt that comfortable in those places without any of their other friends. He climbed in her car and did up his seatbelt. Closing his eyes he rested his head against the headrest as Riley started up the car and drove off. Farkle had fallen asleep a little so when Riley had stopped suddenly he jerked awake, his eyes wide as he over looked the situation relaxing a little he saw that everything was alright. He thinks he heard Riley say a quiet sorry, but he's not sure and he cannot be bothered to ask. He just undid his belt and saw that they were close to Topanaga's and that put a smile on his face.

Walking into the café the pair sat where they group usually sat. Riley put her things down before going to order them a drink each so Farkle pulled out his books and adjusted the glasses that sat upon his face. That was when he felt someone's hands covering his eyes. It couldn't be Riley, not with what they're going through no. Farkle waited a few seconds before saying "Maya?"

A scoff could be heard before he could see again and saw Lucas making his way to sit next to him. A huge smile spread across the younger male's face as he went to envelope the other in a hug, pulling away when he heard the other wince. He mumbled a small sorry before pressing a light kiss to his cheek. "Oh my god where have you been Lucas?" He asked.

"I've been working." He replied with a light shrug before letting a frown form on his lips. "I'm sorry for making you worry. I'm on my break if you want to do something."

Letting out a small sigh Farkle gave a small shake of his head. "I can't, me and Riley had plan to plan Maya's baby shower."

"Uh…that's why you two walked in together. Thought you may have solved this mysterious feud between you guys." Lucas spoke with a soft laugh, earning him a light hit from Farkle. "If that's it, I'll see you at home then. I love you."

"I love you too." Farkle said before giving him a small kiss before the other left and Riley came back. She took the seat that Lucas was sitting in this time. She reached for her bag and pulled it to herself and grabbed out a bunch of magazines. "You carried these around the whole day?"

"Yeah. I want Maya to have the best baby shower ever. She's my best friend and this baby is going to be my cousin. I'm gonna go all out and you are the best person to help me with that?" She spoke as she put one of the magazine's in front of Farkle who started to go through it.

The genius was trying hard not to bite at the comment for it can be taken many ways. But after a while of going through the magazine it nagged at him too much. "What do you mean by that? That I'm the best person to help you with it?" He's never planned one, never been to one so what advantage does she have with him?

"Well…You know…" She spoke, giving a gesture of her hand before looking back at the magazine and trying to change the subject by showing him a nice set up.

"No Riley I do not otherwise I wouldn't have asked." He retorted, closing the magazine within his grasp.

She just gave a shake of her head. "It doesn't matter, come on let's just be civil for once Farkle."

"I am civil, I've always been civil. _You_ started this with not talking to me after what happened at the bay window. _You_ hate me because I didn't tell you about Smackle or Lucas and it's so stupid. You can plan this all for Maya; I'll just stick to what I was already doing to help her out." He spoke with a huff before standing up and leaving the café. Farkle really wish he hadn't done that but he can't erase things that have already happened so he just decided to go to the Library to study for a bit before going home. Smiling at Maya asleep on the couch he pressed light kiss to her forehead and put a blanket around her. He decided to order in some take out for the four that lived in the apartment, Josh should be home soon and he doesn't know when Lucas was getting off but it should be soon so he set up the plates when the food arrived. And sure enough the others walked through the door and Maya woke up and slowly made her way to the kitchen.


	9. Chapter 9

Lucas was asleep next to him as he laid awake, blue eyes staring up at the ceiling in the dark that surrounded the room. His mind was wondering why he couldn't fix the relationship that he and Riley now had. Why can't it go back to the way it was when they were younger? He bites back any remark he has to the best he can, but sometimes it's too much. Maybe she doesn't even realise the things she's said? But he just doesn't know and this is the one thing he is scared to ask about. Letting out a soft sigh he pushed himself of the bed and headed towards the bathroom. Blue eyes found their reflection staring back, a slight blur but still there. His hands pulled at his face as he ran them down, resting them at his chin. Teeth showing a little to the side of his mouth as they go to bite down on his lower lip. Taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly as he opened up the cabinet above the sink. Pulling out a little box he shut the cabinet before looking back in the mirror, jumping a little when he saw a lightly blurred Lucas in the reflection with his. Tears started to brim his eyes as he turned to face his boyfriend and he bit his lip once again. The box dropped to the floor and it opened slightly, revealing a sliver shine. The blonde opened up his arms and Farkle moved to hug the other who wrapped his arms around the other.

"It's okay. You could have just woken me to talk." Lucas spoke with a calming voice as he rubbed the back of his lover. He saw what was in the box; he knew what it was and what was going to happen.

"I'm sorry Lucas. I know I promised." The brunette replied with a slight sob, he had stopped four years ago. He had stayed clean from the call for that long; always talking to Maya or Lucas when an urge of wanting came along. "I just don't get it, why does she _hate_ me. So I didn't tell her I broke up with Smackle. So I didn't tell her that I liked you, or ask her advice on what to do about it. Why does that matter to her so much that she hates me?"

"I don't know Farkle, have you asked her?"

He shook his head, no he hasn't he's tried to do so. "How when all we ever do is argue and I walk out before I can ask because I can't deal with the arguing? I miss my friend Lucas; I just want her back as my friend."

"Maybe try to and ask her next time you see her, for now let's go back to bed. We do have class tomorrow, come on." He said and ushered the other back to bed, turning out the bathroom light as he did. They climbed into bed, Lucas curling around Farkle to keep him close during the night. His fingers lightly tracing little hearts upon Farkle's thigh were scars lay beneath the clothing. "I love you, Good night."

"I love you too." Farkle mumbled as he closed his eyes, trying to let sleep over take him. He soon fell asleep. And the night turned to day, and day turned into weeks. In the weeks, he noticed little things but he kept them to himself and he had _tried_ to talk to Riley but she just turned away from him and so he left her alone. They did remain slightly civil when with everyone else, but that was it. Farkle just went about his days, but when he checked his bank account something seemed a little off which left him to wonder what it was.


	10. Chapter 10

Farkle had just gotten home from tutoring a few kids and he was exhausted, he walked into the kitchen and grabbed out some of last night's leftovers. Maya had been in a very cooking mood lately, but she also over cooked for how many there are for dinner. Last night was macaroni and cheese, so the brunette scooped some onto a plate before heating it up in the microwave. Once it was heated he sat at the bench to eat, checking on his phone. His text to Riley going answered still, he tries no one can say he doesn't. Letting out a small sigh realises that he is home alone; the others are with Shawn and Katy. Sure he had been invited along, but he had the tutoring and would feel bad coming later than the others. After he finished his food there was a knock at the door so he made his way to the door to open it. Opening the door revealed a sad looking Riley, Farkle took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I'm sorry but Maya, Lucas and Josh are all not here. I'm home alone."

"Where are they?" She asked, using her hand to wipe at her eyes. She was trying to not show that she's been crying but he could tell. There was a red, puffiness to her eyes when she looked up at him. "I need my Peaches."

"She's with the others with Shawn and Katy. Some kind of family thing I guess. What is wrong Riley?"

The tall girl just shook her head before taking in a deep breath and letting it out. "I'll just go find Smackle or Zay. Bye." She spoke before turning around and running down the hall. Farkle would go run after her, but it seemed like she didn't even want to talk with him anymore so he would just leave her be. So he closed the door and went to lie on the couch to watch some TV. Sleep soon finding him and taking him over.

 _It was dark all around, nothing could be seen and that noise; that's the sound of tires screeching loudly and it's growing louder and louder until…the sound of metal crashing against metal and glass shattering all around cut through the sound. It pierced through as a bright light broke through sending light around and all he could see was a smashed windscreen, the pieces of glass scattered across the dashboard and a throbbing sensation could be felt in his leg and head. Blue eyes looking down see what was going on, he regretted it because the sight of a bloody leg made him wince. He tried to move but all that did was cause him more pain, making him whimper. A few seconds passed when a coughing noise coming from his left side, it was then followed by a soft voice. Like there was someone next to him, then within a sudden realisation that he was in the_ _ **passenger's**_ _seat and it was Lucas in the driver's seat. Fear settled into the younger as he pushed aside the pain that passed its way through out him just so that he could look at the other._

 _The sight almost made him want to scream out but he kept it quiet, tears freely forming within his eyes as he looked at him. There was so much blood seeping onto his light blue shirt, his hair was very messy and damp. At the corner of his mouth the younger could see the sight of red, which became more as he coughed again. He tired to open his mouth but nothing would come out._

 _"_ _D-Don't speak. L-Lucas…save your energy please." Farkle managed to get out, wincing as he went to move his hand to hold onto Lucas. But there was something about doing so that told him that this was going to be his last moments with the other. "I love you." He whispered before the pain made him blackout._

Blacking out in his dream caused to him to wake up with a scream, he bolted right up from where he lay on the couch blue eyes scanning the dark of the room. The only light was coming from the TV that was still on, a sigh left him as he went to put his head in his hands. He was wishing that the others would come home soon, he needed to see them. He needed someone to tell him its okay. A few minutes passed before a light switched on and in came the others. Smiling a little, Farkle stood up and went to greet the others home; giving Maya and Josh a hug and when it came to Lucas it lasted a little longer then usually.

"Farkle, did you fall asleep on the couch?" Maya questioned as she made her way into the kitchen, having the boys following her. They just watched as she got out the rest of the macaroni and cheese and just started to eat it without reheating it.

"Yeah, how can you tell?" Farkle replied, tilting his head a little.

"I just can, those nightmares are just that. Because look right beside you, there is Lucas and you are breathing. No one can stop us from living. We are too strong for that." Maya said with a smile before going to give her friend a kiss on the cheek before going back to eating the mac 'n cheese.

Farkle just smiled a little and leaned into Lucas. Maybe he should stop falling asleep on the couch as it never seemed to do him any good. "I know no one is strong enough to take us out. The day with world is without any of our group is a day the world starts dying. How did they take the news?"

"They said they suspected but didn't want to ask." Josh replied with a smile. "And they're happy about it."

Farkle was about to say a reply but stopped when he felt his head roll to Lucas' shoulder, he was still really tired from the day.

"You wanna go to bed then?" Lucas asked Farkle, his questioned was answered with a nod followed by a yawn from the younger. The pair said a goodbye to the couple before heading to their bedroom, they changed into their pyjamas before climbing into bed, cuddling into each other.


	11. Chapter 11

The apartment was pretty full of baby things, though most of them did reside in Josh and Maya's room some of it did linger in a corner of the living room. The group have now dubbed the corner the baby corner. Both couples were looking into moving out to give space for the other, but it wasn't as easy as you'd think. Maya no longer had work so she was home most of the time, if not in one of her classes. This generally resulted in the boys coming home to a lot of baked goods, which was a great way to relax after their days at work and school. Farkle was in the kitchen talking with Maya as she baked a cake; her bump was going on nicely. The other day he had even felt the little thing kick, it was an amazing feeling. He was telling her how he felt something was a little off but he couldn't quite place his finger on it.

"Well if it's Lucas you think something is a little off with, I have to agree. Because I do believe he went to the bathroom almost ten minutes ago. He's not back, he said he was going to help me with my baking today." Maya grinned as she poured some flour into a bowl, sifting it as it went in. "I'm sure it doesn't take ten minutes to take a piss. Go check on your boyfriend, I'm busy here."

Farkle let out a small sigh and picked up one of the cookies from the bench, it was warm and it tasted wonderful as he took a bite. His legs walking him towards the bathroom where the door was wide open, but as he looked in he saw Lucas standing in front of the mirror. It was like he was frozen there, staring at his reflection in the glass. He took another bite of the cookie before he spoke. "Did you help Maya make these?"

That had made the other jump slightly, but he turned to look at him. A somewhat mischievous smile seemed to creep onto the older male's lips. Within very quick movements, Farkle was being picked up and sat upon the sink. Eyes wondering over his boyfriend, watching as he ate the last of the homemade sweet. Lucas bit the corner of his lip a little before leaning in to kiss the brunette. The kiss was returned as lips moved together, and arms wrapped around each other to pull them closer. Farkle's legs ending up holding the older closer to him. This didn't answer his question, but he isn't complaining…at least not until he pulls away. "My ass is growing sore from sitting on the sink." Farkle spoke as he brought his hand to rest upon Lucas' cheek.

The brunette's words were ignored as Lucas' lips found their way from the other's jaw line to his neck. Repressing a shiver, the genius managed to pull away from the other. "We are _not_ doing it in the bathroom. One main reason; Maya is home and I do not want her walking in on us."

"Not like we haven't walked in on her and Josh." Was Lucas reply as he tried to go back to sending kisses down his boyfriend's neck.

A small laugh left the younger's lips. "No, I haven't. And you _deliberately_ walked in on them." Granted, the pair just wanted some sleep and the walls of the apartment aren't exactly that thick. The noises coming from the neighbouring room had been making it harder for the pair to sleep. "And don't say I suggested it, I said throw something at the wall to tell them to keep it down. _You_ decided it would be better to go into the room to tell them to keep it down."

"I kind of regret that, that is _not_ an image you really want of your friends." Lucas said before letting out a small sigh. Lifting Farkle up off of the sink he held onto the other tightly, going to exit the bathroom and heading towards the bedroom. "Fine then, let's take it to our bed."

"Farkle is everything okay?" Maya's voice questioned as her head peered around the corner.

"Yeah Maya, everything is fine. Though your helping hand, he might a bit more delayed in coming back." Farkle replied, smiling a bit as he felt Lucas' lips finding his neck. In the corner of his eyes he saw Maya cover her eyes and make an over exaggerated grossed out face.

"That is just…not something I needed to know." She grumbled with a light laugh before heading back into the kitchen, letting the boys do as they pleased as she set herself back to her baking task.

Lucas laughed a little against Farkle's skin as he laid him upon the bed. "We are a weird bunch of people." He said before he started to take his time, bringing his lips up to whisper the words "I love you" into his lover's ear.


	12. Chapter 12

It's amazing how fast the time passes by; Maya is within her ninth month and Lucas has been spending a good chunk of his time with Shawn. Though she seems to be ignoring his mother, but that isn't the only thing they've noticed off about him. They would often find him spacing out completely; it was weird because when he would snap out of it was a gamble of what kind of mood he would be in. Right now the older blonde was at work and Farkle had been rummaging through the room that he and Lucas shared. Okay, he really wasn't one to snoop around someone's things but he wanted an explanation and the theory that Maya and Josh suggested; he was hoping that it wasn't. It was one of many suggested things. He let out a sigh when nothing useful could be found in the bedroom, so the brunette walked into the bathroom. Pulling things out of the cupboards, nothing found. But he did find something when he looked behind the mirror, and a frown formed upon his lips. He walked out of the bathroom to see Maya and Josh sitting on the couch.

"Did you find anything?" Maya questioned as she looked up to her friend who stood at the edge of the couch. A frown forming on her own lips as she noticed the upset look upon his face. She pushed herself up to look at her friend better. "What is it?"

Farkle couldn't say anything; he just pulled out a bottle of pills and threw them towards the couple on the couch. Maya caught the bottle within her hands, her eyes overlooking the bottle before Josh took it into his own hands. "H-He should have stopped taking those already. He _said_ he had but that bottle is pretty full and it says its last refill was a month ago."

"Farkle…Do you think he's using them wrongly?"

"We all do, it would explain _why_ he's been acting the way he is lately. I'll talk with him when he gets home."

"We'll be here for you Farkle." Maya spoke as she stood up, going to give her friend a comforting side hug but she stopped midway through. "I…" Her eyes looked down the ground, her hand automatically going to her stomach. "Oh god…"

"Is it…?" Josh questioned, his eyes widening as he quickly stood up to support his girlfriend. Maya just nodded her head. "We…"

"I understand it, go. I'll come by after talking with Lucas." Hopefully with him, because the subject was sure to cause a fight but it _needed_ to be talked about. Farkle smiled at his friends, giving Maya a slight hug. "See you later." He called out to them as they left the apartment, leaving him to sit on the couch the bottle of pills resting in his hands. It was half an hour later when Lucas walked into the door, but he clearly didn't see Farkle on the couch as he went straight towards the bathroom. "If what you are going in there for is these, no need there here." He spoke holding the bottle up in the air, the words had clearly stunned the older male.

"Farkle, why do you have those?" He questioned as he turned his direction to him.

"Better question is why do _you_ have them? You said you stopped using them that the doctor said it was okay. Are you abusing them?" The question was answered with silence, but that gave him his answer. Taking in a breath, Farkle fumbled with the bottle between his fingers before he opened it up. "It's pretty full for being filled last month, but that's because that's not the last it was filled was it? No. I worked it out, why I see some missing money from my account. _You_ took it didn't you? Lucas, why?"

"I found out my father wasn't my father right _after_ I was in a pretty big car crash. I also find out that my father is some guy my mother had a fling with…oh and he just so happened to be one of my friends **step dads**. I'm sure that's a good enough excuse for anyone. It helps me deal with those facts; it helps me _not_ be angry about this all." Lucas shot back, stepping closer to Farkle.

"You could have _talked_ to us. To me. We would have listened, we would have understood. Lucas, you are going to make a choice right here and now." Farkle was trying _not_ to let his emotions cloud his face, because what he was going to say was breaking his heart already even though the words have not left his lips yet. But they _need_ to be said because they couldn't have him around the baby, no not like this. "You can either; pack a bag and I'll drive you to a rehab centre _or_ you can just leave us all alone until you decide to get clean, because they are effecting you whether you know it or not. You space out and come back in moods; you are out later at night. It scares me, and now I fear even more because I found these pills. Lucas we can get you some help because this is not a healthy way to deal with your problems."

"No, get Maya or Josh, or Riley or Zay, or Smackle. I bet they don't agree with you."

"They do. We've all noticed it Lucas, we want you to get help and look, and we aren't doing an intervention. I'm talking to you one on one because we believe you will pick the right thing to do." Okay so maybe the others don't all know _exactly_ what is wrong but even _did_ think something was off. So it wasn't a full lie, no it was a half assed lie but one played out smoothly as the blond took those steps closer to Farkle. The older pressed a light kiss to his boyfriend's lips, pulling away after a few moments. Blue eyes looked into green ones, tears were now brimming on the edge of Farkle's eyes because he could feel that he wasn't holding onto the bottle of pills anymore but he couldn't bear the thought of looking down at the hands of Lucas to see it confirmed. So instead the genius walked out the door, wiping at his eyes to try and stop himself from crying. As he walked out, he could hear Lucas mumble a sorry and an ' _I love you'_.

Farkle walked to the hospital, it was an hour's walk but that gave him time to recompose himself, giving a fake smile to his friends when he saw them in the waiting room. He lied to them, saying Lucas had to go back to work and that is why he couldn't make it. It took him a few seconds to register that Josh was in the waiting room as well.

"J-Josh, what's going on?" Farkle asked as he walked towards the male, his arms crossed against his chest as he did. Blue hues wondering over everyone, they didn't look that happy. Oh god… Josh pulled Farkle aside, into an empty room. "Josh?"

"What happened with Lucas?" Josh asked, it was clear he was hoping to have a different conversation.

"He…He left. I told him I would take him to a centre but he took the drugs out of my hand instead." Tears now reforming in his eyes, but he took in a deep breath before asking again. "Josh, what's going on? Everyone should be happy right? Maya is having a baby."

"There was some complications, some bad complications. So bad I was kicked out of the room. We don't know what's going on." He replied, blinking back some tears.

"Hey, she's Maya. She'll make it out of anything. Let's go back out to our friends." Farkle spoke and opened up the door, Josh headed out the door first, Farkle not far behind. Hours passed and no one had come by to tell them what was happening, Riley was pacing the room. Her parents are trying to calm her down by telling her how strong Maya was, same with Katy and Shawn. Zay and Smackle were talking in one corner; Josh and Farkle were also sat next to each other. Everyone didn't know what to do anymore besides wait. Another half an hour passed when a doctor came in, asking for those here for Maya Hart.

"Good news, the baby is healthy and a girl. She is breathing fine and is being taken care of." The doctor said, a weak smile upon his lips as he over looked the group. "But…there is some bad news. There was serve bleeding, we tried our best to stop it but it was just too much blood. She lost too much and Maya didn't make it. I am sorry. A nurse will come by and tell you when you can see the baby."

After the doctor left, the room became silent. Maya was gone and there was nothing that they could do about it. Katy was being held tightly by Shawn as she cried into his shoulder; it was in his eyes that you see that he was trying to stay strong. Riley had completely broken into her parents hug; her sobbing was heavy and loud. Zay and Smackle lowered their heads, like they were trying to hide their emotions. But it was hurting them, even if they hadn't known her as long as the others, it hurt losing her. Farkle just broke completely, with Maya gone and Lucas…his heart was in half and he just poured out tears. His head in his hands as the tears just streamed down his face.


	13. Chapter 13

A year later and there was no sign of Lucas, he's made no contact with any of the group but that never stopped Farkle from calling every rehab centre in New York to see if he had checked in. At first, it was two times a week but slowly two times a week turned into once a week, which itself turned into once every few weeks. And every few weeks turned into once a month. There was nothing, and Farkle was worried like hell even though he won't admit that. In the past year, Josh moved back to Philadelphia and Farkle moved with him. He needed a new scenery and plus he said he would help out with the baby, who Joshua named Penelope Angela Hart and Farkle was not going to back out of that promise. In the year, his and Riley's relationship hit it's end it seemed.

 _It's been a week since Maya's death and since Lucas has gone 'missing' and Farkle has been saying he's been at work or somewhere in school but he was soon caught out in his lies when Topanga told him he was lying, that Lucas hasn't shown up since that day. And that was when Farkle had to come clean._

 _"_ _Where is he Farkle?" Riley questioned as she looked at the brunette, a frown upon her lips as she worried about her other friend. "You don't think he still had feelings for her."_

 _"_ _NO! Riley he didn't still have feelings for her. He never did, nor did he for you. Accept that fact. I…" He took in a deep breath before letting it out. He had to come clean but he didn't want too. "I broke it off with him, and I guess he probably feels like he doesn't think he should be around you guys because I was your friend first." So okay he lied, he didn't want Riley to know the truth about what was going on with Lucas. He still cared about both of them deeply but he couldn't bear to break her heart over this. He thought; better to hate me then to hate Lucas. No one even knows if Lucas actually knows about Maya because any attempt at contact was ignored._

 _"_ _You did what! Farkle what the hell is wrong with you! After what happened to Maya!" Riley yelled, hitting him._

 _He just sat there and took it, why not? He deserved it right. "I did it_ _ **before**_ _she died. You think I would want to break his heart? No way, I love him." He scrunched his face because he knows what he just said and what he had told her not long ago. His face was scrunched up tightly as he was trying not to cry, he's already done too much of that already._

 _"_ _You_ _ **love**_ _him? What is going on Farkle? Where is Lucas and don't lie to me?"_

 _"_ _I'm not lying and I don't know where he is, if I did, we'd be together but…I dumped him. Riley I broke up with him. I. Broke. Up. With. Lucas. Friar." This was hard, saying those words. It just went and shattered his heart into more pieces, and it broke even more when he saw the look on his friends face._ _ **I love him but he left me. I love him but he picked a pill over everyone. I love him but…it's my fault. It needs to be my fault, not his. Not to her, it needs to be my doing to her.**_ _"Riley I'm sorry if this information hurt you. But it's the truth. Hate me all you want, but don't hate Lucas. I'm entirely at fault."_

 _With that Farkle left, doing his best not to break down until he had gotten home. And after that he avoided Riley because he knew she wouldn't like him at all anymore and he really didn't want to have any more fights with her._

Josh was in his room, asleep and Farkle was in the living room watching TV but having not had much sleep lately, it caught up and he ended up falling asleep on the couch for the first time in a long time. Sleep over took him, but so did the nightmares.

 _It was very bright; he had to cover his eyes because otherwise he couldn't see a single thing. His eyes slowly adjust to the light and he removed his hand only to close them tightly. The sight in front of him, it was crushing him. There was a car, its side caved in. Glass was everywhere and the door seemed to be coming off its hinges. It only took him a few seconds to register whose car it was and he started to run towards the vehicle that lay ruined across the road. The run seemed to go on forever, like no matter how much he ran he was no closer the object but when he did reach it, the scene was much worse._

 _Inside the beat up car was a bloody Lucas, his head resting against the steering wheel as he was gasping for breath. In the seat next to the Texan was a blonde – her hair covered her face but it was clear who it was. It was Maya, blood throughout her hair and all over her seat as it looked like a piece of metal pierced her stomach. Then there came a voice, the voice was familiar "It's your fault Farkle._ _ **You**_ _broke this friendship._ _ **You**_ _broke everyone's heart._ _ **You**_ _don't care for anyone else but yourself. Just another snobby rich kid. A fucking loser nerd with no friends." He knew who the voice belonged to, and he can't bring himself to argue with her. Because what she is saying is the truth. The scene had changed from the crash to Riley's bay window where he could see the person behind the voice. As each word she spoke, she got closer to him making him shrink in fear. "Who would want to love you? You're pathetic! Can't find love with a girl and when you find it with someone you let them_ _ **GO!**_ _How stupid do you have to be to fuck this much up?_ _ **YOU ARE A NOTHING!**_ _That is all you'll ever be!_ _ **NOTHING! FARKLE THE NOTHING!**_ _No way could you ever take over the world, if you did it would crumble under its pathetic leader."_

 _He doesn't know where she had gotten it but the next thing she knew, the brunette had a gun in her hand and was facing it towards him. His blues eyes looking right down the barrel of the gun. He gulped a bit his eyes could see her finger pulling the trigger and now he was just waiting for the impact. One…two…_

There was a crying that woke him up from his sleep, he pushed himself off of the couch and walked his way over to where Penelope laid in her crib. He picked her up and started to lightly sing her a lullaby. A few seconds later he saw Josh in the doorway.

"You go back to bed Josh. I've got her, you need some sleep." Sure so did he but he couldn't go back to sleep right now. Not after that nightmare. "I'll take her for a walk because it's light enough outside, I'll have her back before Riley comes to visit."

Josh gave a nod of his head before going back to bed, Farkle put Penelope down only so he could put on a jacket and grab a few things he would need for the walk. He walked to the park, pushing her in the pram as he let the warmish air press past his face. Sitting at a bench, Farkle pulled the stroller closer to him. A little smile spreading across his lips when he saw the one that spread across hers at the sight of her favourite toy wiggling above her. She reached her little hands up to it and the brunette let her take it. It was quiet enough outside that he could hear someone walking towards him; it was still early in the morning, so he went and grabbed a tight grip upon the stroller. The walking stopped but Farkle didn't let his grip go at least, not until he heard the other speak.

"She does look a bit like Maya."

Farkle just froze where he was, his eyes fixated on the young child in front of him.


	14. Chapter 14

This could _not_ be happening right now, no. It just couldn't, he didn't want it to be happening especially with that nightmare that he came out here to escape. But it was and there was no escaping it, not when the other sat next to him. He wasn't seated too close, but it was close enough that he could feel the presence of the other. It was quiet for a small while, Farkle just playing with Penelope and her toys.

"Farkle?" He broke the silence after a while. He seemed fearful of what was going to happen. "I know you can hear me. I just…I want to tell you that I'm sorry. I missed you, I missed everyone and I picked the wrong thing. I know that. I tried to find you back in New York but someone else was in the apartment. And your number changed but Riley's hadn't. I called her, she was _happy_ to hear from me. She had said ' _You were our friend too, not just Farkle's. You didn't have to back away just because you two broke up.'_ Riley told me that you said you broke it off with me. Why?"

"I didn't want to break her heart okay Lucas. She already was on the verge of hating me, so I just told her _I_ broke it off with you. I told her that it was my fault that you left. I couldn't let her think bad of you; I care too much about her and you to have done that. She blames me for you not ever contacting us and she's right too because I did say not to do so. I was harsh on you but the baby and the mood changes. I _am_ at fault and that is what I told her and for her to never blame you for our broke up."

It was quiet again, Lucas was about to speak again when the baby started to cry. Farkle moved to take her out of the stroller and held her close to him as he started to sing a lullaby as he soothed her. After she did calm down, he put her back in and saw his phone going off. When he checked the message he stood up abruptly.

"Crap. Riley." Farkle mumbled as he grabbed the stroller and headed on his way home, Lucas on his tail. It was clear this conversation wasn't finished even if he wanted it to be. He walked home, not saying a thing, nor did Lucas. Riley's car was parked right outside, making him curse himself as he walked in the door. "Sorry, I lost track of time." He said before picking up Penelope out of the stroller and handing her over to Josh who was standing next to Riley.

"So it was him." Riley said as she looked behind Farkle.

"Yeah Riley." Lucas said as he stepped into the house behind Farkle. He gave a light nod to Riley. "Thank you for letting me tag along with you to Philly."

"No problem Lucas. Look, its baby Penelope." Riley spoke with a smile as she was handed the baby. She cuddled the baby in her arms as she started to hum a bit.

Lucas didn't move closer to the pair, he just stood where he was. "Hey, where is Maya?" The question was innocent enough, but it sent frowns upon everyone's face. Their reaction made Lucas frown; they clearly knew something that he didn't. "What don't I know?"

It was a few minutes before someone spoke. "There were complications and Maya didn't make it through."

"What?" He questioned, his eyes widening a bit. No, that could not mean what it did. She was _Maya Hart_ for crying out loud. The silence answered his question and he just over looked the others. "Oh."

"Yeah. Lucas, I realise I haven't asked, but why are you here? _Why_ did you look for me now?" Farkle questioned as he turned to look at his ex. He watched as the other looked down to the ground.

"I hit very rock bottom Farkle and… I just really miss you and everyone. It was killing me not being able to call you because I knew I didn't want to take that step. But I've admitted it to myself, I had a problem and it drove everyone away. I picked that over you but now I want to fix things."

"You want to get clean?" The questioned answered with a nod of the older male's head. A light smile spread across his lips as he reached out to put his hand on the other's shoulder. "Good, I'm glad."

"I have a place lined up, I just need to get my things out of Riley's car. Could you come with me?"

Farkle nodded his head lightly. "Of course."


	15. Chapter 15

The moment was nice…for a little while before Riley spoke, her brown eyes darting between the two ex lovers. "What is going on here? Lucas? You just come back into my life; well all of ours and now you want to leave? And with Farkle who dumped you?" Of course she is not opposed to them being friends again but she is opposed at the idea of them going away from her. Maybe there was something she was missing, giving that they're them and she is who she is, they most likely didn't tell her something. It took her a few seconds to figure this out. "Right, what _is_ going on here? I'm guessing you guys haven't told me something to protect me? I need you to stop doing that I'm not a kid anymore."

The boys looked at each other and Farkle was about to tell her it was nothing when Lucas spoke up instead. "Farkle didn't dump me, he said that to I think protect my image or more so your image of me. I'm not entirely too sure why he told you that because it is wrong, I did not get dumped by Farkle. _I_ left him, I got cornered in my issues and he told me to either seek help or just leave. He _wanted_ me to get help; I saw it in his eyes. They were begging for me to choose help but I didn't pick help. I picked the pills and walked away from everyone because you had all agreed on it."

"Agreed on what? None of this went by me? What pills Lucas?"

"The pulls I was taking and abusing. I was addicted to them and picked the dam things over everyone I cared about. Farkle told me you all agreed that it was either them or you guys. I thought you would have known about it."

"FARKLE!" Riley yelled, and doing so made Penelope start crying and Josh decided to take the baby away from this situation so he took her into her room and turned on the TV. Riley had waited until the door was shut before talking again. "What the hell!"

Farkle's eyes went to the ground. "We had only just found about the pills ourselves, me, Maya and Josh and then she went into labour. All of the actions were mine but I thought he would choose us so I didn't think you guys would have minded. And yes, I lied. I couldn't hurt you Riley, I just can't do it yet I always do. You hated me already so why not just make it more. And I didn't want to ruin your image of Lucas and I just needed to believe for myself that _I_ was the one who broke it off. I thought it would be easier for me but no. I still fucking love him, and you know that. I _needed_ to make it my fault he left, and having you believe it to so I could forget about the true reason he left."

It was quiet for a while, no one said anything. It wasn't until Farkle felt someone's arms wrap around him did he look up. It was…Riley? They haven't hugged in _years_ and now here she was hugging him. She pulled away, giving him a slap to his shoulder. "You should have _told_ me that! Because I did think you were the reason Lucas didn't talk to us at all. I would have understood and I would have cheeked on you because…"

Silence filled the air once again, everyone knew what she was getting at but he wanted to hear it from her because they only time she had really showed she cared about him (since the fall out) and that part of him was when it was found out. "What Riley? Made sure I didn't harm myself, you can say those words. But, it's a bit too late to think of that, or show care towards me." What was he saying? He had dreamed about the day Riley cared about him again, yet here he is ruining it. "Maya died, I lost the guy I love and yeah, those helped cause my depression to strike back and hard! It should _not_ take anything happening to make you care about me. Riley, I only want you to care about me because you care about me, not out of sympathy." Farkle let out a sigh, turning to look at Lucas before putting his head in his hand.

Lucas had spaced out; Farkle snapped his fingers in front of the other's face. The older male jumped before he let out a light growl making Riley and Farkle jump back. It took him a few seconds to register what was going on before he looked down. "I…I'm sorry. I don't have a car so either someone is going to call a taxi or drive me."

"I'll drive you; I don't think Farkle drives anymore. Your things are still in the car right? Let's go and you can fill me in on the way. And Farkle, don't think I stopped caring about you."

"It seemed like it with the way you ignored me, the way you would yell at me. The way you treated me after me and Smackle broke up was the start of the cycle. So yeah, you did. Just take him, and I'll be out of here by the time you get back. I have work. Goodbye." Farkle huffed before going to his room, not wanting to hear anymore from the others. He got his things ready and climbed in the shower. He took a long shower, using it to calm himself down.


End file.
